this sucks. My sudden withdrawal is killing me. All of a sudden I just start emoing cos they aren't here anymore. Why are they doing this to me. Is it cos of the music that's why im emoing. Why am I like that. I don't even know if im a hardcore fan, since im not rich and all I don't buy most merchandise I feel like a useless b2uty. What's the point of fangirling to a group when you don't spend your whole life on it. Am I even hardcore. Am I even casual even. Am I even worthy to be a fan of theirs. I fangirled for so long. Since 2010. Two years. From shinee to beast I experienced all kinds of shit. Be it jonghyun dating junhyuung kikwang smoking yoseob being sad all those incidents, I still bare with them. But its so much like just 表面上 the thing. Ugh. Reflective mood again. Hard to fangirl lol. Yeah maybe im harfcore but does anyone care, I don't buy their merchan, I only concert. I'm a useless b2uty. Yeap.
Whatever even if people has to say that of me, so be it, I'll be thickskinned and continue koving them.
imissthem.
imissthemsofrigginmuch
why am I like that. Get me a boyfriend and maybe I won't be like that lol.
Maybe if I quit, I'll be fine, but its difficult. But as much as i dont want to quit the fandom cos I meet so many awesome and nice b2utys, maybe all the problems and troubles are coming from the fandom as well? I'm very 矛盾 right Now.
But im prettysure eventho im emo Kia now, I won't quit the fandom.
Lol why am I writing this crap. I just had to ok back to Chinese bye
wow. hardcore girl? what it means? do you listen to hardcore music? or do you live hardcorely? hehe
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