Cca shit

Yeah ok another frustration so apparently track training is 8-11 and netball is 2-5, whathef. SINCE WHEN HAS THAT HAPPENED FOR DEAR GOD SAKE. If they are gonna make us like friggin train both, it really makes me think more whether should I just jolly well change cca since, I have no place in it and I have no use in it and I might as well be lesser a competition to everyone, like it even is. and I'm just sorry if I went to asked but I'm just this girl that is forever scared of stuff and just, I wanna do whats right so beig self, I just asked. I'm a selfish bitch I'm so damn sorry. I bet I tell anyone this people will be like oh who ask you choose two cca. For goddamnsake, I DIDN'T HAVE A CHOICE ALRIGHT. having 2 cca is not cool, the amount of stress when we first got in and shit, not fun. And we couldn't make it, I couldn't make it and I just didn't want to waste the rest of my entire school life beig this useless woman with no representation in school, I just can't alright. It's not fun really, who knows if theyre gonna make us train both and like we train, WE MIGHT NOT EVEN GET INTO TEAM OK. Whatshit. Hardcore intensive training. 6 hours seriously. I just hope, ugh today sucks. All I ever wanted was just to make myself useful, just in a cca. Nothing else. This shit reality is nothing I can handle and really, if we will have to train both ccas, I will change cca. It's not fun, it's serious, but I guess you always have to lose something to gain something goddamnit.