LIFE

now problems always come together right. so yesterday got informed that netball actually wants me for the team, not confirmed but just shortlisted. firstly, why cant i get into C div but shortlisted B div, dont amke sense know. its like playing with my feelings;___; not getting into c div was like the 1st ever failure big thing in my life as exaggerated it sounds. 2nd qas failin chinese yaknow. now they want. mist cos cos of change in twachers idk? and then idk it just like shockin know. and obviously i dont want as much as and its just frustratin to know and obviously, no matter what, i will still work my best now that theres an opportunity, yes. but whether i get in is another issue. nobody knows what the future is anyways. then theres track. track wants me more but then youknow like that means that ive gotta gofor double training and mis leong said just 2 times a week. thats pretty craY considering that tome when we tried having double for the strategic, i didnt even play the friendly, i felt likedying. and then, like ofcourse i would wanna throw like duh. no matter what i did manage to give birth to some passion in it yaknow so at first i was all ok double then double. its another 3 trainings only. but then my mom is totally against it and im like i know its gonna be tiring i know its for my own good but i wanna do well, its about the points anymore know, its about the face and the mentality to get pass the obstacle. so at the end of the day obviously shes still against it so. hmm. wanted to talk to miss leong today but shes not here JOY i was panickig before training its not even funny. so told me ang ang and he said to ask if my mom allow a just ONE DAY DOUBLE TRAINING. and imean its just one day for the entire time. i think im gonna fight to out till i convince my mom which is really NOT ME. then had issue with the fact that nessa shini an chenyuan are no longer with me. it doe feel empty iknow theres still netballers but youknow the kinda bond i feel is not there as compared to shini nessa and chenyuan and im having a hardtime im just gonna try to bond and little and work my ass off more. then again, idk if im even confirmed for any of the twams. so now the only thing i can do is train really hard. did whatever beep test was the last, coach was like wth you better watch yourself stare;__; whether i think too mch or what, cross fingers i will do better. thats totally not my standard. stamina. then i rmbed, compared to everyone, im the loser netballer, so imust really work. and then class allocation. obviously im nt in the same class in song. but i trust in her ok. we will do anything to stay tgt can oneZ she love me too much anyways(8 ok jokes aside people tried to bring us down but youknow what gal. yo aint bringing us down(: TRUST IS ALL WE NEED AND IMWAN COMON its the 2 of us its quitwstupid if we seperate! and even if she wants to im gonna hang in there like idekwhat.8) that aside, im in J and like yes wendy benny and stuff but they all have their friends! wendy has charlotte AND WHAT ABOUT ME:( now im alone yes i can be the third party and frienda friends with charlotte too but YOUKNOW. 3 thingy is never cool. im just hoping i get to know charlotte more and stuff and hopeully, BOND. it just felt really shit yeateday. and yeah. life. at most i will jut be a nerd in class doing nothing but a good girl paying atention without any good friends now all i gotta really fight hard for cca. its really this 6 more trainings for netball. no matter what the outcome is, at least coah gave me a chance for BDIV which i think is huge since i didnt get into CDIV. and track, im just hoping they understand and if they want me back, I WILL BE MORE THAN GLAD TO WORK MY ASS OFF EVEN HARDER. its really no like i dont want double, it will be shit but i will try! And to really start studying. chinese OLEVELS next year!!! CHIENSE. tuition stared really gotta start getting into that moood. and yah. Hopefully everythig works well after tht impact i got all from yesterday oh dear lord.
oh and ps. will anyone produce money for me.